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So, Republicans Want to Leave the United States….

somaliaFor the last 4 years all I’ve heard from many Republicans was how they want to leave this country, because it’s turning into a “haven for socialism.”

According to many of the comments I’ve seen coming from Republicans, quite a few are planning to flee the country to escape the socialist terror of a country that would allow same-sex marriage, wants socialized health care, wants to ensure the wealthy pay higher taxes than middle class Americans, wants sensible gun regulations and seeks to keep religion out of our government.

As someone who isn’t a Republican, I highly encourage their exodus.  Hell, I’ll start a foundation that raises money to ship these people first class anywhere they want to go.

There’s just one problem, where the hell would they go?

I, as well as millions of other liberals, would love to see these people leave the United States.

But first, I would love these Republicans to list us one country on this planet that is a combination of all of the following:

  1. Doesn’t support same-sex marriage or unions
  2. Allows unregulated gun ownership
  3. Has no form of socialized health care
  4. Is run by a capitalistic theocracy
  5. Pays little or no taxes
  6. Has a very small government

And once they do find this nation (might I suggest Somalia) I promise liberals across the United States will gladly start a foundation that raises money to send their asses there on a first class red eye flight within 24 hours.  Well, most of the way first class anyway.  With low taxes and small government I don’t think Somalia has the airports and travel industry available for a non-stop first class flight for these future Somalians.  But I’m sure the numerous warlords throughout the country have some kind of transportation system in place if they join up with them.  Freedom and warlords, just think of all the guns they’ll have access to.

So please, from liberals everywhere, go ahead and leave.

After all, what would this country look like without the “great” education and economic systems such as those in Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, Louisiana and Arkansas.

In fact, if every far right-wing Republican citizen left the United States, do you know what would happen?

  • Infant mortality rates would improve
  • Average life expectancy would increase
  • Education scores would rise
  • Obesity rates would drop
  • Median family income would increase
  • Divorce rates would drop (yes, many Republican states lead the nation in divorce)
  • The percentage of Americans living below the poverty line would drastically shrink
  • Our deficits would instantly be reduced, as most “strongly Republican” states take in more federal dollars than they pay out

So by all means, leave.  Again, I’m sure millions of liberals will pay for the mass conservative relocation to this “paradise of freedom.”

But again, the only question I have is— just where the hell would you go?

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Allen Clifton is from the Dallas-Fort Worth area and has a degree in Political Science. He is a co-founder of Forward Progressives, and author of the popular Right Off A Cliff column. He is also the founder of the Right Off A Cliff facebook page, on which he routinely voices his opinions and stirs the pot for the Progressive movement. Follow Allen on Twitter as well, @Allen_Clifton.

Comments

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  • http://www.facebook.com/alexis.betancourt.92 Alexis Betancourt

    Very well put and I second the motion.

  • http://www.facebook.com/phil.arthur.44 Phil Arthur

    of course if they leave, then their business should be subject to scrutiny of being operated by a foreign national

  • http://www.facebook.com/jenny.wallace.3388 Jenny Smith

    That is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/phyxie Malissa Wilson

    I agree with the majority, except, how would infant mortality rates increase?

    • moabie

      “improve” in infant mortality rates means “decrease.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/btourjee Brent Tourjee

      By approving stem cell research and a dozens of other programs republicans cut down for fear of pissing off their god.

    • http://www.facebook.com/silva.vousden Silvia Vousden

      Not increase, IMPROVE, i.e. go down.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001084197725 Lisa Ann Hayes

    I read the above and I couldn’t agree more – I know of one who would be a good candidate to send out and I had to stay at her house for 2 days last week – it was no picnic. She’s a pure unadulterated GOP Bigot! I would nominate her to be on the first boatload to Somalia!

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/my2_cents/ My2Cents

      only one?

  • JoeNCA

    Yeah, but then they’d the ones making anchor babies, then wouldn’t they?

  • memeremalek

    I LOVE YOU!! I’m a gramma so it’s purely a maternal kind of love. If I were your mama, I’d be bragging about you to all my firends. Well put! The only thing I’d disagree with is perhaps; let’s not put them on a First Class red ey flight. Let’s put them in coach or business class, or as I like to call it, STEERAGE. It’ll make the adjustment easier. Bravo. Great article.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Aanna1123 Anna Gregory

      Awwww, you are so generous. I would have stuck them in a cargo plane. LOL
      Excellent article and I will be sharing it!

      • Don Berry

        Cargo plane & parachute…don’t even bother to land. Works for me!

      • http://www.facebook.com/james.mathews.9889 James Mathews

        and the hell with the parachute too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bejeweled70 David Hliva

    I say fly them as excess baggage in the baggage compartment. Have a nice flight. ;-)

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/my2_cents/ My2Cents

      nah I say shove them into overhead….

  • http://www.facebook.com/sherry.anderson.121 Sherry Anderson

    great message, and I would soooo help, but can’t turn this into an actual attractive plan by finding another country? Smalia or…something??? Come on! Find a more reasonable alternative! Even if it’s Kansas or Louisianna. We have

    • sarah

      Somalia is warm. ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/Aanna1123 Anna Gregory

    Why not do this; move all the people from Mexico to the U.S. since they appreciate this country. Take all repubs and ship them to Mexico. They can start from scratch and build their way up. We, in the U.S. can dig deep and erect a fence that will be electrified and, at least, be 50 feet tall! Why should the majority of us have to deal with the repub stupidity? We deserve better.

    • Ayn Rand

      Anna, people have been asking for ANY KIND OF FENCE, 50 feet tall or otherwise for years. Yet you suggest a mass deportation before erecting one.

      Hypocrite much?

      • http://www.facebook.com/Aanna1123 Anna Gregory

        You probably should not talk ‘Ayn Rand’. LOL

    • Jimbo Kerns

      Great Idea. Mehiko has Guns. Everything’s legal in Mehiko.

      It’s the American Way.

  • Cathy315Ed

    Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, Louisiana and Arkansas? Looks as though you forgot Texas, where the secession movement has gotten the approval of some fairly influential folks – and the GOP rules while it’s educational system not only leaves much to be desired but influences those of other states. And it looks as though you forgot that stupidity is not the domain of the Gulf Coast but of every state populated by ignorant, bible-totin’, gun-lovin’ GOP backers. What a shame you fell prey to stereotypical thinking. You probably think that racism doesn’t exist north of the Mason-Dixon line.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1813067402 Noose Newsome

      I agree, although the South has it’s majority share of repugs, there are some who are Southern and proud of it. Many democrats live in the South and you are thrashing them with your regional stereotyping.

  • LiberalLioness

    What they’d do is “discover” a country and kill all the indigenous people so they could have a nice, white Christian country (where women presumably could not vote). I imagine they’d bring back slavery too, as that’s supported by the Bible. Nice article.

    • LateNightLarry

      Slavery is supported by THEIR Bible… not necessarily by the Bible most of us read. While they’re at it, they can set up their schools based on creationism instead of evolution… We can then export all the Texas textbooks to them at cost.

    • Jimbo Kerns

      They can have all the slaves they want. Somalia is full of Black People. Slavery + no gun laws = Redneck Utopia.

  • Jimmy Carter

    This is the most hate filled racist comment section I’ve read…. EVER.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1571201173 Sandra Andrews

      Then you haven’t read some comments on the Republican sites or read any of the comments to stories about gun safety laws. Or you are just a Republican who doesn’t see that anything you say is wrong. Lots of those.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1096238065 Adam Kane

        I love you.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ Mo Reno

        What do think the chances of this person actually being Jimmy Carter are?

  • http://www.facebook.com/jacob.daniels.399488 Jacob Daniels

    We should just vote the Republicans out next year and then they can leave the country.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ron-Drioane/1357094892 Ron Drioane

    I’ll take you up on it. I’m moving to the Philippines. Shouldn’t cost much. Maybe 5K. Where do I get my money?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/my2_cents/ My2Cents

    that, that brought tears of joy to my eyes… and hope, yes hope…. now where do I donate

  • http://www.facebook.com/Wereman Alan Koeppen

    Fly on a plane? Can we just ship them in boxes? We’ll even be nice and give them one, ONE, air hole.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rabor.suicer Marc de Groot

    Afghanistan sounds about right..

  • http://www.facebook.com/ashcooper Ashley Cooper-Cooper

    oh there is an airport that will successfully land there plane in Mogadishu, thats where our C-130′s landed in 93 when we deployed there so rest assured they can get there and “downtown” is just a short walk from the airport and there’s a great motel albeit it’s blown up but had great artwork on the outside and was a tourist haven in the 70′s but they can clean it up and fit right in. Oh, and the Somali drug of choice is Kat, it’s a tree bark that makes the people violent so they may want to try some of that to fit in. Just my travel advice and have a safe flight

  • Vicki Skinner

    How many have said they were considering moving to Costa Rica (wasn’t it Rush LimNimBrain or some fool along that line?) – HELLO!!!! SOCIALISM!!!

    I can’t tell you how MANY Republican’s I’ve met in Costa Rica & Nicaragua that REAMED helping anyone – said those “illegal immigrants” are draining the U.S. medical system – yet their often the first to sign up for the Socialized Medicine system here & drain the LOCAL people of their benefits so Nationals HAVE to wait a year OFTEN to get tests/treatment for cancer, etc.?

    & how MANY of them are wanting things in Costa Rica to be in English & be able to get their Ben & Jerry’s & Entenmen’s & their Jagures & have their BIG SUVs that they take to the market to get a stick of butter & have their BIG houses & pay their live-in maid $340/MONTH & expect her to work 10+ hours a day – EVERY DAY?

    & how many “Immigrated” to CR (or wherever else AWAY from the U.S.) – because they can – because these countries have made it easy(ish) for them to do – yet they want to prevent people from other countries from “Immigrating” to the U.S.?

    & how MANY of them “work”/create their OWN jobs in CR (& other foreign countries) – taking a job away from a National?

    & how many of them do NOT pay taxes on that job IN CR (where the $$ would go to HELP the PEOPLE, roads, etc. [ok - so "some" of it goes into the pockets of the politicians])??

    & how MANY of those Republicans are STILL reaming Democrats (or blaming “Obama” [HELLO!! NO president has EVER had any REAL "power"!!]) for doing/trying to pass ALL those things IN the U.S. (or they’re preventing it) that THEY’re doing in CR (or wherever else in the world!)??

  • Montgomery J. Burns

    Might I suggest a town in Ukraine called Pripyat. Nobody lives there, there’s free housing and the schools are better than in Texas. It needs a little painting and repairs but the can bring their guns and start their Ayn Rand / Christian / Libertarian Utopia right there. Nobody will bother them for at least 50,000 years.

    (Only downside: the local nuclear plant blew up in 1986)

  • Guest

    Maybe we should revoke the citizenship of any American who signed a secession petition and send them “back” to whatever country their surname originates. And if we can decide which, then send them to some country who’s name they can’t pronounce.

    Get ready, Kyrgyzstan!

  • http://www.facebook.com/paul.caporino Paul Caporino

    Maybe we should revoke the
    citizenship of any American who signed a secession petition and send
    them “back” to whatever country from which their surname originates. And if we can’t decide which, then send them to some country whose name they can’t
    pronounce.

    Get ready, Kyrgyzstan!

  • http://www.facebook.com/timothy.smith.1671 Timothy Smith

    Sorry but I cannot think of one prominent Republican who had said this. Can you name me some, please? If you had said Democrats have threatened to leave the USA, I would def. agree with you… there have been many.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ljdachiguy Lance Andrews

      Where have you been? There’s a whole secessionist movement in Texas. If you can comment online, I’m sure you can use Google to research it.

      • http://www.facebook.com/timothy.smith.1671 Timothy Smith

        Oh so everyone in Texas is a republican?

  • Cathy

    I hear it’s beautiful in Australia

  • http://www.facebook.com/clyobeck Clyo Beck

    Thank you for this amusing, logical article. Still, don’t fundamentalists serve a purpose? Do they not help us know ourselves and define our preferences?

    Consider that, so often when you ask a person what he or she wants or likes or prefers, that person has to think about it and often isn’t sure. That’s where fundamentalist Christians and Republicans come in. They give us instant clarification: “Not that!”

    Once we know “not that” then we can refine and create our own visions. True, the old paradigm is dying hard and will have nowhere (but perhaps Somalia, as you say) to go, but what an opportunity for personal growth and expanded awareness these people and their philosophies have given us. While I’m not grateful for the suffering and confusion their philosophies have caused, I am grateful that they’ve forced me to think about my own position on countless issues. As a result, I’ve gotten clearer about what I can do to create the kind of world I want – progressive, just and compassionate – and how to help create it.

    So, if they do leave, it’s fitting to pay for their airfare and send them off with flowers and champagne for how they’ve helped the rest of us progress, and probably faster than we would have otherwise. ;-)