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Rick Perry Channels His Cheerleading Days at CPAC, Makes an Absolute Fool of Himself

rick-perry-cpacConservatives are falling over themselves to applaud Texas Governor Rick Perry for the speech he gave at CPAC.  Oh, what short memories we have when it comes to politics in this country.

Of course Rick Perry gave a great speech at CPAC.  All he had to do was read a teleprompter and channel his cheerleader past to get a rousing ovation from the crowd.

Honestly, that’s what his speech seemed like.  It was as if some random guy was just spouting off cliché lines to ignite a crowd even though most of what he was saying didn’t really have much of a point.

And let’s not forget, Perry’s weakness isn’t reading a speech from a teleprompter.  Most people can do that very well.  It’s when he has to think for himself, and answer tough questions, that’s when the idiocy that is Rick Perry shines brightly.

Kind of like this.

Well, during his CPAC speech Perry clearly laid the groundwork for his 2016 presidential bid by essentially acting like a conservative cheerleading while standing on a stage waving pom-poms.

Perry went off on the usual limited government tangent (ironic for a man who supports laws in his state which violate the Constitution) but then moved toward his “cheerleader” aspect of his speech, saying, “Defend our country, provide a cogent foreign policy, and what the heck, deliver the mail, preferably on time and on Saturdays.”

Then he really went off on a right-wing tangent flailing his arms around as he said, “Get out of the health care businesses, get out of the education business. My fellow conservatives, the future of this nation is upon you! It belongs to you! You have the power to change America.  You are the path to the future, a light on a distant shore.”

He then concluded by saying, “You represent the renewed hope that America can be great again!”

Now, what does any of that mean?  Outside of a clear support for our postal system, I have absolutely no idea.  But the conservatives in the crowd sure ate it up.

Rick Perry seems to have forgotten that he’s no longer a male cheerleader.  With this speech, he made it abundantly clear what his intentions are for 2016.  And if all he had to do as a presidential candidate was read speeches off a teleprompter, he might stand a decent shot at winning.

I guess nobody showed him this poll where even people in Texas don’t want him to be president.

But I sincerely hope Rick Perry does run for president in 2016.  Because as a writer and commentator, the more time Rick Perry spends giving non-scripted speeches or has to participate in live debates, the easier my job becomes.

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Allen Clifton is from the Dallas-Fort Worth area and has a degree in Political Science. He is a co-founder of Forward Progressives, author of the popular Right Off A Cliff column, and an unapologetic Hillary Clinton supporter. He is also the founder of the Right Off A Cliff facebook page, on which he routinely voices his opinions and stirs the pot for the Progressive movement. Follow Allen on Twitter as well, @Allen_Clifton.

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  • Matthew Reece

    A real limited-government conservative would seek to privatize all mail delivery.

    • Jo Clark

      What do you think the vindictive tirade against the US Postal Service is, if not an effort to privatize all mail delivery? That’s exactly what they’ve been trying to do for years, make the USPS fail. Remember the dumb “future funding” crap they pulled on the USPS in an attempt to drive it into bankruptcy?

      • Matthew Reece

        The USPS should fail if it cannot survive in a competitive environment. It has had a protected monopoly on letter mail since 1851, which was granted after Lysander Spooner showed that private enterprise was better by out-competing the USPS with his American Letter Mail Company. In this one instance, the GOP is at least trying to do the right thing, even if they are ineptly beating around the bush by failing to advocate for repeal of the Postal Act of 1851.

    • Charles Vincent

      Like the pony express.

  • Mrs_oatmeal

    All he is is a real jerk!

  • Veritas vos Liberabit

    Prodromal symptoms of dementia? Organic brain deterioration? Black outs? He just doesn’t remember!

  • Gary Menten

    CPAC:

    Completely
    Predictable
    Asinine
    Clowns

    • Charles Vincent

      DNC:

      Delusional
      Nut
      Cases :)

      • Gary Menten

        RNC:

        Regressive
        Nazi
        Criminals

        I win

        P.S. Nutcase is only one word.

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC:

        Delusional
        Non-relevant
        Cowards

        Not so fast Gary lol

      • Gary Menten

        Non-relevant is not a word. The proper term is “Irrelevant.”
        And you’ve already used “Delusional.”

        RNC

        Retarded
        Neo-Conservative
        Clowns

      • Charles Vincent

        Eh it didn’t get red lined and people make up words all the time and Neo-con falls in to that category

        DNC:

        Defunct
        Narcissistic
        Crooks

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Ridiculous
        Nefarious
        Charlatans

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC

        Dastardly
        Ninnyhammer
        Cretins

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Recurring
        National
        Catastrophe

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC

        Degenerating
        Nihilistic
        Combine

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Rejecting
        National
        Choices

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC

        Decaying
        Noxious
        Canker

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Reflecting
        No
        Consience

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC

        Dilettante
        Neophyte
        Cognoscente

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Rabid
        Neanderthal
        Chauvenists

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC

        Dissimulating
        Notorious
        Casuists

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Reliably
        Never
        Constructive

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC

        Dogmatic
        Neurotic
        Cacophony

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Retaining
        Nothing
        Coherent

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC

        Dispensing
        Nocuous
        Contamination

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Regurgitating
        Nauseating
        Concepts

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC

        Definitively
        Not
        Correct

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Religion,
        Not
        Constitutionality

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC

        Demonstrably
        Naive
        Children

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Repeating
        Nonsensical
        Claptrap

      • Charles Vincent

        claptrap I like that lol

        DNC

        Dullards
        Needing
        Commonsense

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Recurring
        Nightmare
        Continues

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC

        Demeaning
        Niggling
        Curse

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Reprobates
        Needing
        Conversion

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC

        Do
        Not
        Care

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Representing
        Notional
        Constituency

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC

        Displaying
        National
        Communism

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Rejecting
        Non
        Christians

      • Charles Vincent

        DNC

        Discombobulated
        Nagging
        Chatter

      • Gary Menten

        You’re getting a bit desperate, aren’t you?

        RNC

        Reprising
        Nixon’s
        Conspiracies

      • Charles Vincent

        Nah just having fun with it haha. The whole Nixon thing very funny, brilliant even.

        DNC

        Daliance
        Near
        Clinton

      • Gary Menten

        RNC

        Revealing
        No
        Competence

  • Pipercat

    Oy, Bigus Rickus….

  • Green_Devil

    Maybe a few more Texas towns need to be blown off the map due to unregulated businesses going :: boom :: to get through to this silly git.

  • gmartini

    I didn’t view his performance as a “cheerleader.” I thought he came off more as a two-bit, snake handling, Southern preacher. I was just waiting for all the blue hairs to reach into their purses and pull out a few dollars to give to the Preacher Man.

    Regardless, he’s an idiot that just threw out idiotic, bumper sticker “ideas.”

    • http://uzzas.blogspot.com/2010/06/introduction.html uzza

      It’s gotten very difficult to tell a preacher from a politician anymore.

      • talktothe hand

        Yes and it’s pretty scary!

      • Matthew Reece

        It makes sense because religion and government are the two forces that the elites use to keep the rest of us fighting each other so we don’t overthrow them.

  • leftrightwrong

    I am in no way a perry supporter, more a detractor, but if your job as a writer is only made easier, let’s add some substance. Calling someone names repeatedly, and making vague accusations (“unconstitutional”) do not make a point, it makes an argument meant to be had under the monkey bars.

  • Marilyn Olsen Scheffler

    And the looks of awe and joy on the faces of the listeners is almost too much to choke on!! Wake up people!! It’s Rick Perry! If you cheer the likes of him, I fear that we are doomed!

  • rossbro

    This jerkoff has no shame. And no honor. Just one more Texasshole.

  • Progressives Are Losers

    That’s funny, paragraphs 2-4 describe Obama, perfectly.

  • Independent American

    As a professional writer it seems the best you can do is name call someone who has already stated he is Not running again for President. If you want to focus on someone that could truly be a concern to your over the cliff movement, wouldn’t Rand Paul be deserving of your ink?

  • http://batman-news.com My2Cents

    oh and here I thought he would do something other than make a fool of himself…. shocked, shocked I tell you

  • David Melillo

    Another male cheerleader from Texas with limited cognitive function?