Michele Bachmann Announces She Is Not Seeking Re-election (Cue the Celebration)

michelebachmannIn a “special announcement” made to her supporters (at 2 in the morning local time), Michele Bachmann has announced that she will not be seeking re-election for a 5th term in Minnesota’s 6th Congressional district. The announcement came just hours after being called out yet again by local media for misleading her supporters in a campaign ad she had been airing (yes, she’s been airing campaign ads locally in Minnesota for weeks now — 18 months before next year’s election).

If you can stomach the rambling, almost 9 minute announcement video, here it is (at least she’s looking into the proper camera):

Bachmann makes all sorts of excuses as to why she’s decided not to seek re-election, but of course the fact that she’s under investigation for possible campaign finance violations has absolutely nothing to do with it. Oh, and she makes it known that she’d easily win re-election over Jim Graves if she had decided to go through with it — even though she barely eked out a victory over him last year, and that was before her scandal surfaced. Pay no attention to the newest poll which showed Graves with a 47 percent to 45 percent lead in the potential rematch.

This is absolutely fabulous news for not just Democrats, not just Independents, but sane people everywhere. No matter what she decides to do, this is a win-win situation. If she decides to run against Senator Al Franken for his Senate seat next year, she’ll get crushed. Franken has been extremely popular in Minnesota, and the latest PPP poll had him beating Bachmann 55 percent to 38 percent in a potential Senate match-up. In other words — let her run. I think the vast majority of Minnesotans would get a kick out of Franken embarrassing Bachmann in the debates, and the final result would be an easy victory.

This is of course assuming she’s not in jail before then. With the FBI and other agencies investigating her possible involvement in shady financial transactions during her failed presidential run, it’s a distinct possibility that she’s concerned about more details coming out — and she’s trying to stay ahead of the ballgame by making it clear now that she won’t seek re-election.

Then of course there’s always the possibility that she’ll go the way of Jim DeMint and seek out a job with an organization like The Heritage Foundation. This might be the least exciting of her three possible options, but I’d take it. As long as she’s off the House Intelligence Committee and in no position to be making decisions which affect us all, we should be fully supportive. She’s already getting bankrolled by the Kochs as it is, might as well make it on the up and up.

No matter what Bachmann decides to do, as Craig Ferguson would say, “It’s a great day for America everybody!” The sooner she’s relegated to fill-in Fox News guest and regular Rush Limbaugh contributor — with no political power to go along with it — the better. Say “hello” to Sarah Palin on the other side of irrelevancy, Michele, because you’re going to be occupying that lonely spot with her soon enough!

About Thomas Barr

Thomas Barr is a writer and activist whose work has been featured on CNN.com and other locations across the net. He works tirelessly online and off to further the Progressive movement and fight for causes close to his heart, such as Type 1 Diabetes and cancer research.
Thomas is also a co-founder of Forward Progressives, and Executive Editor of ForwardProgressives.com. Be sure to check out his archives on Forward Progressives for more of his viewpoints.